


Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

by saturnxk



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, all tadashi wants is a pumpkin spice latte gdi, hiro is a little shit as per usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 08:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4053595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnxk/pseuds/saturnxk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have small boobs," Tadashi says sadly, and Hiro chokes on the milkshake he's drinking. "I needed to get pushup bras."</p>
<p>(Or, that time Tadashi turns into a girl, Hiro wants to run away from home, Honey Lemon has a thesis to write, Wasabi freaks out, Fred doesn't, and Gogo just really, really needs a break from it all.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kuro-d](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kuro-d).



> [crossposted on ff.net if u prefer reading there.]
> 
> birthday fic for my beautiful kuro-d (find her on tumblr; she does the most gorgeous art). happy birthday my little kuro sheep! all the best for the coming year. here, have this piece of trash fic as a present.
> 
> this fic was supposed to be called #melons but ff is a bitch and won't allow that symbol in the title :(
> 
> ~4300w, no pairings
> 
> therefore aka #melons aka tadashi gets boobs and a lot of stuff happens.

It happens overnight and he's not exactly sure why, either, or how exactly the physics of it really works. All Tadashi knows is that one nice Wednesday morning he wakes up with a hangover and a substantial weight on his chest that wasn't there before.

"Mochi, get off," Tadashi mumbles groggily, face buried into his pillow. His head is aching and his mouth feels like the Sahara Desert. No way is he ever going to let Fred goad him into taking that many shots on a Tuesday night again. There is a loud meow somewhere to his right, and Tadashi frowns and opens his eyes, and spots his overweight cat sitting calmly on the spotted beanbag that he'd thrown in the corner of his room but never had a chance to sit on because it always had a huge pile of clothes thrown haphazardly on it. Then what's—?

With a sinking feeling of dread, Tadashi yanks his blanket off and looks down.

A loud scream echoes through the Lucky Cat Cafe, scaring the birds off the electricity lines and startling early morning customers.

 

Cheep!

**Tadashi Hamada** posted: This is all **Fred Lee** 's fault.

48 likes . 3 comments

View comments:

**Honey Lemon:** What happened?

**Gogo Tomago:** it's the hangover isn't it. i knew fred was mixing something weird behind the bar

**Wasabi no Ginger:** Remember to drink lots of water!

 

"Oh," Hiro says blankly, staring at the girl who's standing frozen in his brother's side of the room, in front of the mirror and looking slightly wild. He's shaken out of his bed by the shriek, but Tadashi is nowhere in sight. "Uh, hi? Who are you?"

The stranger turns around, and Hiro just gurgles inarticulately. There's a strange, devastated look on her face, and her features are almost exactly like Tadashi's, except softened around the edges.

"Tadashi?" Hiro calls out, never taking his eyes off the girl. Maybe he's in the shower? But there's no water running. "Um, do we have a cousin over?"

"Hiro," the girl says weakly. Her voice is higher, but there's no mistaking it. "It's me. I'm Tadashi."

Hiro stares some more.

"What. The. Hell."

Hiro blinks rapidly, just to make sure he's not dreaming. But every time he looks again, nothing has changed. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and there is a girl who looks exactly like Tadashi claiming that she is Tadashi sitting in Tadashi's bed staring at Tadashi's mirror on Tadashi's side of the room.

"Hiro," the girl—Tadashi?—a random cousin that he's never seen before?—says almost frantically. "Hiro, oh my god, I'm a girl. HIRO, I'M A GIRL? WHY AM I A GIRL? OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD—"

Hiro stares a few more seconds. The girl (who's apparently Tadashi but since when did Tadashi have fucking twin mountains on her chest) looks like she's going to cry. Or puke. Probably both.

"Well," Hiro says unhelpfully, "you make a very pretty girl, big brother."

 

Cheep!

**Hiro Hamada** posted: that feel when u wake up and ur bro has a vag #nosrslywhatthehell #itstooearlyforthis #thisbetterbeabaddream — with **Tadashi Hamada**

87 likes . 4 comments

View comments:

**Gogo Tomago:** what

**Honey Lemon:** What?

**Wasabi no Ginger:** Um.

**Fred Lee:** yooooooooooooooooo

 

Group: bh6 squad 4lyfe

Hiro: CODE RED!

Honey Lemon: Oh no! What's happened?

Gogo: this better not be another prank, hiro.

Wasabi: I have limited texts, Hiro. Is it important?

Hiro: TATS WHY I SAID CODE RED

Fred: we haven't had a code red in ages. whattup my little man?

Hiro: TADASHI IS A GIRL

Gogo: what

Honey Lemon: Excuse me?

Hiro: TADASHI IS A GIRL. HE'S GOT BOOBS. GUYS HELP ME WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

Wasabi: Language!

Hiro: NOT IMPORTANT DIDN'T U HEAR WHAT I SAID I SAID TAFASHI'S A GIRL SEND HELP

Fred: sounds like a problem for superheroes! i'm down

Gogo: no, wait, hiro. what.

Hiro: JUTS COME OVER RN TADASHI IS FREAKING OUT

Honey Lemon: Alright, alright, we're coming over.

Gogo: you better not have fed him one of ur weirdass beverages hiro do u remember what happened last time when u did it to fred

Fred: good times! i wouldn't stop farting the whole day haha tadashi almost killed me

Wasabi: You know, biologically and physically Tadashi turning into a girl is impossible.

 

Cheep!

**Gogo Tomago** posted: no fucking way — with **Tadashi Hamada, Hiro Hamada, Fred Lee, Wasabi no Ginger** and **Honey Lemon**

34 likes . 3 comments

View comments:

**Ariel Waters:** ?

**Tiana Maldonia:** did hiro do something again

**Hiro Hamda:** hey i'm innocent!

 

"Oh man," Wasabi whispers. "Biologically and physically, this is impossible. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Don't panic," Hiro says placidly. "If you panic, Tadashi will panic. And I just finished calming him, uh, her, down."

"So," Gogo says slowly. "You're a girl." She pauses. "Nice."

Tadashi is now is all kilometric legs and sharp cheekbones and glossy black hair that falls to her collarbones. She's long eyelashes and plump lips and a cute nose.

She also looks like she wants to fling herself off a cliff, but that's besides the point. The point is that Tadashi is drop-dead bootylicious and all the guys in the room are now looking off in different directions.

They're crowded in the brothers' shared room, all looking exceptionally awkward as Tadashi struggles to keep her pants from falling. Her waist is now too slim for anything to fit, even with a belt that's threaded in the last hole.

"I think I need a bra," Tadashi whimpers. She's wearing a t-shirt with SAN FRANSOKYO NINJAS stamped across her chest, and the logo stretches uncomfortably across what they all assume are now her breasts.

"You definitely need a bra," Gogo says blandly. She seems the most unaffected by this change out of all of them. "Does Aunt Cass have anything?"

"Really?" Tadashi asks, slightly hysterical. "You want me to go down there and show Aunt Cass—this—the new me?—oh my god she'd probably have a heart attack! Can you imagine? Good morning, Aunt Cass! This your nephew and he's grown a pair of melons overnight and now you have a new niece! Isn't that great? Ahahahahaha!"

"Don't call them melons," Honey Lemon says with a pained look on her face.

"I think we need a plan of action," Gogo murmurs to the rest, ignoring Tadashi's loud sobbing in the background and her repeated "why is this even happening is it god is it karma oh my god it's because I didn't forward that stupid chainmail back when I was eleven right—"

"I don't know," Honey Lemon shrugs, "I kind of like Tadashi as a girl. I've got another sister! And she's so pretty, too."

"Aw, but I've lost a bro," Fred complains.

"This goes against the laws of nature," Wasabi moans to himself. "It's wrong. And do you know what the worst thing is?!"

"What?"

Wasabi turns tortured eyes to the ceiling. "Tadashi is actually really hot as a girl."

"… Please don't say that," Hiro wrinkles his nose.

Gogo turns to Wasabi and gives him a judging glare. "So, if we're done talking about Tadashi's physique, just—I don't know—make sure she doesn't run anywhere until we figure out how to turn her back into a guy again."

"Well, fat chance of that happening," Hiro comments. He eyes the weeping mess that is now his sister. "I don't think she'll be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Keep her hidden," Gogo orders as she turns to leave.

"Wait—what?" Hiro says. He has a brief flashback to the post he made on Cheep earlier in the morning. "Actually, that might not, uh, be happening."

"Hiro." Even as a girl, Tadashi is still older than him and still commands the same respect. Hiro cowers. "What did you do."

"Oh yeah," Fred remembers. "He posted about you on his Cheep!" He ignores Hiro's desperate motions and continues on in the beautifully oblivious way that Fred is wont to do. "About waking up and you having a vag—"

The aura that Tadashi is releasing almost freezes the sun.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 

Cheep!

**Wasabi no Ginger** posted: I have seen the dark universe yawning/ Where the black planets roll without aim/ Where they roll in their horror unheeded/ Without knowledge, or lustre, or name.

40 likes . 4 comments

View comments:

**Fred:** that's deep bro

**Gogo Tomago:** why are you quoting h.p. lovecraft

**Wasabi no Ginger:** Because I am disgusted with myself.

**Gogo Tomago:** sometimes i don't know why we're even friends

 

They soon abandon that plan anyway after realising that Tadashi actually needs clothes, and Aunt Cass is smaller than Tadashi so secretly borrowing her things is out of the question. Gogo and Honey Lemon take Tadashi bra shopping, sneaking out when Aunt Cass ducks down behind the counter, and they return looking considerably more miserable. Well, Tadashi looks miserable. Honey Lemon is patting her shoulder sympathetically, and Gogo just looks disgruntled.

"I have small boobs," Tadashi says sadly, and Hiro chokes on the milkshake he's drinking. "I needed to get pushups bras."

"Well, technically Tadashi didn't really have to get pushups. She's a C cup; I think the store assistant was just a little too persuasive on her," Honey Lemon says.

"I don't get why you're complaining," Gogo snaps. "I'm an A cup! You definitely didn't need the pushups; you're going to topple over when you walk now."

"Okay, this is getting a little personal," Wasabi says nervously, face warmer than usual. "Uh, so I suppose shopping went… alright… apart from that?"

At this, Tadashi wails loudly. "Why are girl clothes so expensive?! And complicated? I wanted a normal t-shirt, not an asymmetrical pastel-blue off the shoulder belted bejewelled and gold-plated piece of fabric that barely covers my chest!"

"Tadashi is just learning the woes of female life," Honey Lemon says smoothly. "Don't worry, she bought at least fifteen cardigans so we're all set on that."

"Well, at least they'll cover your love muffins," Fred pipes out cheerfully, forehead poking out over his comic. The resulting silence causes him to look up in confusion. "What?"

"Did you just call them… love muffins?" Wasabi repeats, with the most horrified look.

"Of all the breast euphemisms…" Honey Lemons murmurs.

"Oh, sorry," Fred says innocently, "I meant chimichongas."

Lower lip jutting out, Tadashi stares down at her chest, and then looks discreetly over at Gogo's.

"Tadashi, I will strangle you with your fifteen cardigans," Gogo threatens.

 

Cheep!

**Hiro Hamada** posted: don't ever talk abt boobs around girls they'll kill u #lifelessons

71 likes . 1 comment

View comment:

**Gogo Tomago:** hiro ur dead next time i see u

 

Tadashi usually likes to go jogging in the morning when dawn breaks, because apparently the air is fresh and you can hear birds sing, Hiro, so come with me once in a while.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ow owowowowowOWOWOW—"

Hiro ends up calling Honey Lemon at 5:30am while Tadashi groans at his feet, returning after only fifteen minutes and looking more tired and sweaty than she would after an hour's run.

"Hey, Tadashi's having a girl problem again," Hiro slurs into the receiver, sleep still crusting his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Honey Lemon asks, chipper and slightly more excited than usual. It's highly likely that she pulled an all-nighter again to finish off the thesis that she was currently working on, plus consumed at least ten cups of coffee.

"Um," Hiro glances down at Tadashi, who's staring the floor dejectedly, upset at the fact that she can no longer exercise properly anymore. "Well, Tadashi said that, uh, she went running and… it hurts when she runs?"

"Oh," Honey Lemon is very quiet, then, "did she wear a sports bra?"

 

Cheep!

**Tadashi Hamada** posted: Bras are extremely expensive.

87 likes . 114 comments

View comments:

Load older 50

**Mulan Fa:** no but if you compare the strategic points of the battle and figure out the weak spots in the valley you'll definitely be able to whoop his ass no kidding!

**Wasabi no Ginger:** you know **Belle Gold** if you're looking for any other classics, you've got to try Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. It's a little creepy, but his prose is legendary.

**Shang Li:** honestly you have to study their past battles first before diving headfirst into a new one **Mulan Fa** otherwise you'll definitely lose and i won't be there to help jfc

**Mulan Fa: Shang Li** fuckin fight me u nerd

**Tadashi Hamada:** I'm sorry but what happened to my post?

 

"This sucks," Tadashi complains.

"I know," Hiro says mindlessly, shoving two cookies into his mouth. Tadashi wordlessly holds out a hand, and she's given one.

"I don't understand," Tadashi mourns, sniffling into her cookie. "This is the worst. Why, Hiro?"

"Dunno."

"Being a girl is so hard. You know this morning I was eating a muffin and all the crumbs fell down into my shirt and in between my boobs into the boob abyss! I didn't even know that was a thing. Why is this happening to me?"

"Maybe 'cause the universe had enough of you being a little bitch so you finally got turned into one."

"Hiro!"

Oops, Hiro thinks. Wincing, he prepares for the worst. He burrows under the duvet that he's dragged out into the living room, trying to escape the incoming punishment.

"Swear jar!" Tadashi growls.

"Nooooooo," Hiro whines, only his fluffy hair visible over the blanket. "I'm broke, Tadashi! Poor! No money! I don't deserve this! This is unfair!"

"You know what else is unfair?" Tadashi snaps. "Me being turned into a girl. Yeah, that's right. So either learn to filter your mouth or I'll wash it out with soap!"

"Oh my god, are you on your period or something," Hiro mumbles under his breath, which is completely the wrong thing to say because Tadashi almost bursts a vein when she hears that.

"Hiro Hamada, come here," Tadashi says threateningly.

Hiro Hamada is not stupid, by any means. So he scrambles out of his blankets and sprints out of Tadashi's sight.

"HIRO!"

 

Cheep!

**Hiro Hamada** posted: screw the swear jar #imrunningawayfromhome #imafreemannow

56 likes . 5 comments

View comments:

**Tadashi Hamada:** hiro

**Hiro Hamda:** fuck

**Tadashi Hamada:** you're grounded

**Hiro Hamda:** fUCK

**Tadashi Hamada:** HIRO

 

Day three, and Tadashi still has Boobs. Not good. Not good at all, especially considering that Aunt Cass hasn't seen him—her—at all and she's starting to question the integrity behind Hiro's shitty excuse of "Ummmmmm Tadashi has… guy problems. Yeah, guy problems. Haha! You don't wanna know, Aunt Cass. It's, uh, really bad. Just leave her—uh—him alone for a bit, he'll recover."

Hiro thinks he's being funny. "Get it, Tadashi? It's funny 'cause I told her you have guy problems but you've actually turned into a girl. So, it's like, irony or something, right?"

Sometimes, Tadashi wonders how her brother was ever considered a genius and placed in Times magazine's top one hundred people under twenty-one with an IQ of over 150, and managed to rank at forty-seven.

"I want to chop all my hair off," Tadashi mutters. She's staring at the single strand of hair that's been tickling her nose for the past three hours. "All. Of. It."

"You'll probably regret it," Hiro hums, chewing on a mouthful of gummy bears.

He's so carefree, Tadashi cries inwardly as she looks enviously at her younger brother. Being a guy was so good. Oh, great universe, I have learned my lesson. Turn me back into a boy, I will not take it for granted again. I'll become an active feminist and donate to charities. Please, please give me back my dick.

And as if on cue, something gushes uncomfortably between her legs. And Tadashi is pretty sure it's not pee. She's about 90% sure.

"Oh my god."

"OH MY GOD. HIRO! I'M BLEEDING. I'M BLEEDING! HIRO AM I DYING? NO. NO. NONONONONONONO THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING OH GOD HIRO TELL AUNT CASS I LOVE HER OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO—"

 

Cheep!

**Tadashi Hamada** posted: I just want everyone to know that I love them. **Cass Hamda** you've taken care of me and **Hiro Hamada** willingly and you've given your all. Thank you. **Honey Lemon** please keep smiling. **Gogo Tomago** I know one day you'll achieve your racing car dreams. **Fred Lee** never change, buddy, you're perfect the way you are. **Wasabi no Ginger** take care of everyone, big man.

100 likes . 123 comments

View recent comments:

Load older 50

**Hiro Hamada:** wow sis you've never been this popular before

**Honey Lemon:** Calm down, Tadashi! You're fine. **Gogo Tomago** and I have got your back!

 

"That," Gogo says blandly, "is a tampon. And you stick it into your vagina, okay?"

"What?" Tadashi squawks.

Gogo and Honey Lemon have been called over by an agitated Hiro on another Code Red situation (literally, red) and Tadashi refuses to open the bathroom door, so the two girls are talking through it, and ever so gradually they're getting the urge to punch Tadashi through the roof.

"How—how do I know which hole is my vagina?" Tadashi says. Her voice is higher than usual.

"It's the hole with blood coming out it," Honey Lemon says helpfully. They've been at it for about twenty minutes already, and Gogo's patience is wearing thin. Honey Lemon doesn't really mind, but she does have a paper to get back to.

"Is it supposed to hurt when I put it in?"

"No, if it hurts you're doing it wrong."

"Oh, okay. It's hurting."

"Then you're doing it wrong."

"… Guys how far am I supposed to push it in?"

"For god's sake—TADASHI OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AND JUST LET ME SHOW YOU," Gogo screams.

"NO."

There is silence for maybe thirty seconds. Then, a small, "I think I did it."

"Oh, finally," Honey Lemons sighs. She glances down at her shorter friend, who's angrily blowing bubbles from her gum, probably trying to destress. "You know, Gogo, it might've been a bit easier if we'd just given her a pad."

 

Cheep!

**Gogo Tomago** posted: next time just give the amateur girl a fucking pad #nevertampons #whatdididotodeservethis

154 likes . 16 comments

View recent comments:

Load older

**Wasabi no Ginger:** fred no

**Fred Lee:** y'know if y'all having a nose bleed just stick some tampons up ur nose!

 

"I thought I was supposed to stay hidden," Tadashi says. "This feels kinda… normal."

She absent-mindedly pulls up the strap of her bright pink bra, and it pokes out from under a tank top cut low enough for some boys to gawk unashamedly at as they leave the cafe. Hiro grumbles and tosses a cardigan at Tadashi's face ("Gross, disgusting little lemurs who can't control their testosterone," Hiro mutters viciously).

"Yeah, well, didn't really find a point in keeping you locked up away in the attic," Hiro says, hands shoved deep into the pockets of an oversized hoodie. He'd stolen it off Tadashi, and when Tadashi had seen him wearing it, her eyes had gone suspiciously glassy and she'd wailed something about her "little bro all grown up and ready to leap from the nest into the big, scary world".

"I want to drink something," Tadashi sighs.

"Whaddya wanna drink?"

"Pumpkin spice latte," Tadashi says.

"… Since when did you drink pumpkin spice lattes," Hiro says, looking at her weirdly.

"And I kinda want a donut, too. And a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Also maybe avocado toast. Ooooh, can we stop and buy some Pringles and chocolate bars? I like M&M's, so let's get that," Tadashi lists off. "Wait, Hiro?"

Her brother had disappeared from her side. Stopping, Tadashi looks around, and finds her brother standing several metres back, looking utterly horrified.

"Oh, man," Hiro whispers, "can you just turn back into a guy already, Tadashi?"

Shrugging, Tadashi continues onwards. "I think I'm having period cravings."

They pass two men heading in the opposite direction, all confident steps and suave charm.

"Nice," Tadashi whispers to herself. She admires them for a few seconds, until one of the men turn around and whistle at her seductively.

"Hey, gorgeous," he says, teeth white against his tan skin. He has an accent—foreign—French?—that would usually sound quite refreshing, but has Tadashi backing away slightly.

"Gaston, stop," the other man laughs. "We don't have time for this. Harass some girls later."

Tadashi's jaw drops.

I am going to kill them, she screams in her head, hand already curled into a fist and ready to swing into their faces. Sexist little pigs—

"But you are looking a little lonely," the other man continues, grin no longer charming, but sly. "Why don't you smile a bit more? A pretty lady like yourself—"

"A pretty lady like herself should have no business with vermin like you," Hiro cuts in. Tadashi starts, her younger brother's presence forgotten.

At fourteen, Hiro is slightly small for his age, and his large bobble head and huge doe eyes often have people mistaking him for younger. But as Hiro steps in front of his older sister, he seems have gotten taller, chin held up high and eyes flashing fire.

"Aw, Hans," Gaston coos, bending down to meet Hiro at face level. Their noses are centimetres apart. "The little boy is gonna fight us! Whatever shall we do?"

At this, Hiro holds Gaston's gaze for a second, and then violently knocks his head forwards against Gaston's. It creates an unpleasant crack, and Gaston topples to the floor, howling. Ignoring the pain throbbing in his forehead, Hiro aims a kick at Hans' shins, and the man ends up next to his friend on the pavement.

"Let's go!"

Hiro grabs Tadashi's hand, who's still bewildered at the sudden course of actions, and the siblings sprint off down the street and turn around the corner.

"Hiro!" Tadashi gasps, stitch crackling on her side as she slows to a halt. "That was so stupid! And dangerous! WHAT IF THEY TRIED SOMETHING, YOU LITTLE COW. YOU WOULD'VE GOTTEN HURT."

"BETTER THAN LETTING THEM TREAT YOU LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT," Hiro shoots back, equally short-winded. He sneers. "My sister should at least have a prince chase her, not a couple of dorky monkeys like them."

"You know," Tadashi says, breathing a little easier, "that's actually kind of sweet."

"Whatever," Hiro says dismissively as he checks the street signs, "my sister only deserves the best."

 

Cheep!

**Tadashi Hamada** posted: Girls I am so sorry for the harassment you all experience every day of your lives from the filthy men of the world #feminism #weneedit

98 likes . 101 comments

View recent comments:

Load older

**Mulan Fa:** preach

**Belle Gold:** Well, it's about time.

**Anna Queen:** ^^^^^^^^^this!

**Hans Westergård** (mutual friends with **Naveen Maldonia** ): not all men

**Tadashi Hamada:** How do you block people?

 

On Monday morning, Hiro does not awaken to loud, dramatic sobbing on the other side of the room, but instead a screech that rings through his ears and through the floorboards, where Aunt Cass looks up from pouring a black coffee for a customer and wonders if her nephews were possibly dying.

"HIRO!" Tadashi bawls. "HIRO, MY DICK HAS RETURNED."

"Finally," Hiro says, flopping to the ground from his bed because it's too early and he has this thing where he doesn't walk properly in the morning until he gets food in his stomach. "And don't say that too loudly; there's people downstairs, remember."

"My chest feels so light," Tadashi says, almost dreamily.

"Okay, shut up."

 

Cheep!

**Fred Lee** posted: #melons

224 likes

 

"So did you guys ever figure out what caused the change?" Gogo asks around a mouthful of watermelon juice. It's an impossibly bright day, and the six friends all gather around on the green lawns of the San Fransokyo Institute grounds, enjoying the sunshine and smell of summer in the air and celebrating Tadashi's return to manhood with drinks and donuts.

Shrugging, Hiro glances over and meets his brother's eyes. "Dunno. Just a freak accident?"

"I really wish I could've run some tests on you," Honey Lemon sighs. "It would've been such a great scientific discovery! Imagine all the information we could have gotten."

"Tadashi would've turned into a freak show," Wasabi counters. The gentle giant hums. "Glad you got your Y chromosome back, buddy."

"It was nice while it lasted," Fred says happily.

"No it wasn't," Tadashi says quickly.

"You know what I bet it was," Gogo says craftily, "Fred's drinks that he made for us the night before you got your vag."

"No way," Wasabi says dismissively. "Alcohol can inhibit testosterone levels, but that would take a crazy amount of drinking. That's scientifically impossible."

"And yet Tadashi still grew a pair of boobs overnight," Gogo says easily.

"Well, to be fair, I don't actually remember what I put in those drinks," Fred says suddenly. "There were a lot of bottles; I just grabbed whatever and mixed."

"Okay, guys, we have a minor here," Tadashi interrupts, while Hiro pouts.

"Come to think of it, I'm surprised this didn't become a bigger thing," Honey Lemon says. "I mean, it was posted all over Cheep as well."

"It's 'cause no one took it seriously," Hiro says. He leans back into the grass. "Good thing, too."

"Still," Tadashi says with a slight grin, "looking back, it was kind of funny."

"You try banging outside the bathroom door for half an hour trying to get the wailing girl inside to just open up her legs and shove a tampon inside," Gogo shoots him down immediately.

"Alright, you got me there."

 

**Cass Hamada** posted: Sometimes, I think I'm a wallflower. Do my nephews really not notice me? — with **Tadashi Hamada** and **Hiro Hamada**

15 likes . 8 comments

View comments:

**Tadashi Hamada:** Aunt Cass? What do you mean?

**Cass Hamada:** Nothing, nothing.

**Hiro Hamada:** i hate it when old people are purposely vague :(

**Tadashi Hamada:** hIRO

**Gogo Tomago:** bye hiro it was nice knowing u

**Cass Hamada:** Hiro, I've given you the all day shifts at the cafe this Saturday and Sunday. Please open and close shop. Thank you for your willing help!

**Cass Hamada:** Also, **Tadashi Hamada** , next time you need anything (tampons, a bra?), your Aunt Cass is always here to help. Don't worry. It's nothing I haven't seen before.

**Hiro Hamda:** OH YM GOD

**Author's Note:**

> so i was like hmmmm what kind of fic is good to give a friend on her bday ofc it should be smthing light hearted and funny and yes how abt tadashi turning into a girl isn't that great isn't that funny and then this fic was born bc i also wanted to make a joke (not really) about girls and their problems #boobabyss
> 
> also i have a headcannon that hiro is actually secretly rly proud that tadashi is so pretty and she's got a lot of guys chasing her he's like yes bitches that's my sister i know she's hot pls get in line and keep your hands to yourself also u have to answer this 1243 question quiz on why u want to date my sister time starts now.
> 
> again, happy birthday kuro-d. hope you enjoyed, my lovely!


End file.
